Chaos’s Newborn Child

I have heard that in dreams
Eagerly sought after,
Love can be found.
In tormenting nightmares,
In near death
Hope awaits.

The vulgar curses
That randomly erupt out
Like irregular spasms,
Vulgar curses of the insane conflicted woman,
Who may not be insane after all.
In those curses echoes of truth reside.
For in absurdity
Lies a sense of being.
Once in days filled with near hallucinations
I decided to be strong
In self and in reason.
I decided to grasp the empty shells of my sanity
But in insanity reason has never flourished.
So in joyous dejection
I seek out murky upside down cities
In upside down worlds,
Created with upside down thoughts.

I seek out the scent of ecstatic trances
Deep in the feeling of self.
Of dances to rhythmic beats
Under the near darkening sky,
Under the half lit sun,
Under the half lit moon.
In between light
Is a fusion of colour-
Red, purple, red!
A fusion of colour and silence.

Hanging upside down,
Listening to the upside down drum,
In my upside down realm,
I am deep in fantasies,
Escaping from reality.
In my windy realm
Of thought in no thought,
Of thought in a maze.
Fate has led me to seek out chaos
To find the true reflection of me.
In confusion
I shun confusion
But remain in confusion.
So I toss the struggle and I give in to myself,

For I am chaos’s new born child,

Born in my upside world.

I walk on the sky
And birds kneel at my feet.
I touch into the darkness
To shave away the light
For I desire a half lit world.

I am chaos’s new born child.

I sing odes to my departed sanity,
Rant of my joy at my ascension into nothing
And scream at my ignorance withering away.

No-one hears.

I cry tears that no-one sees,
I die inside
But no-one cares.
I do not die but believe I am dying,
Death is an escape that I do not seek,
I cannot escape
For I am a complying prisoner
In the land of the pound,
The drum and the sojourning misfit
misfit Breeze.
©Barbra Zimema Anderson


A writer, a designer, a thinker, a lover, a fighter, a curious person of sorts.

You may also like...